Hi everyone, It's me Billy. Let me tell you how my day went. First, I shaved my back with a communist. Then, I went to school where my first class was math. We studied how when you put some kind of symbol between two numbers, you get a different number! Then I spaced out and started doodling all over my paper. Then I had some kind of history lesson, then we made things go BOOM! in chemistry, then it was lunch. I walked up to the menu to see what was for lunch today. " Get away from the furnace you idiot!" someone shouted. Then, I got in line for lunch. By the time I got to the server lady, lunch was over. The server lady made me give her my money anyway because she says she doesn't get paid enough to deal with psychos like me. I told her she wasn't the first person to tell me that and I gladly paid her. Then, in social studies, we learned about Canada! It turns out that it's not a desolate wasteland inhabited solely by hyenas like I thought! The primitive humans there are sophisticated enough to build simple machines like "hovercrafts" and teleportation units" dumb stuff like that. Anyway, after that we did my least favorite recreational activity, ART. I was finishing up my painting when my teacher asked me what I was doing. "Painting a picture of hippos during mating season." My teacher let out a strangled gasp and ran from the room. "Nice going Billy!" some dumb person shouted. "Now the principal needs to hire a new Spanish teacher......again!" "Ya stupid Billy!" someone called from their seat. " Great job you little loser! You make me sick!!" My Mom said from the second row.
Anyway, that's how my day went all day today. When I got home, I took my cat Mr Tibbles for a skydiving trip and then went to bed. I lay there, wondering how to pay for Mt Tibbles broken spleen. Then I drifted off into a deep sleep and awoke aproximatley 5 minutes later to write this post. Ok cheese omlets! Until next time, this is Billy.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Movie
Hey guys. Last night I went to see a movie at the movie theater (like normal people.) The movie I really went to see was SO boring...
It was about a talking dog who was left alone and went to an orphanage. All the other dogs at the orphanage made fun of the talking dog by calling him names and throwing chainsaws at him. One day the talking dog and his friend (a talking hippo) leave the orphanage to join a band. Their band takes off and then they're famous but they get kidnapped by ninjas!
I got so bored after that I decided to see some other movie. This other movie I go to see is called Kitten Strangler 7: the Fleshy Mass of Guts! Now that was a good movie...
It started out where this guy falls into a pit of acid, then catches on fire and dies! Then when the people are burying him they accidentally bury like 15 cats with him and all the cats tear up him dead body but some how when the cats die their spirit is transferred into the dead guy who comes back to life! Then the guys wants to take revenge on all the cats in the world because it was cats who messed up his body! He goes around to a bunch of animal shelters with his flame thrower and... I think you can guess what he does next... He invites the over for a tea party and... gives them all a home at his house, but then... he throws a big... party and they all are happy. Then they guy realizes that all the cats think he's ugly because of his mutilated body so he make pies out of them...
Honestly I'll have to say that "Kitten Strangler 7: the Fleshy Mass of Guts" was better than "happy dogs make a happy band." Make sure to go see both though... Well bye homeys!
It was about a talking dog who was left alone and went to an orphanage. All the other dogs at the orphanage made fun of the talking dog by calling him names and throwing chainsaws at him. One day the talking dog and his friend (a talking hippo) leave the orphanage to join a band. Their band takes off and then they're famous but they get kidnapped by ninjas!
I got so bored after that I decided to see some other movie. This other movie I go to see is called Kitten Strangler 7: the Fleshy Mass of Guts! Now that was a good movie...
It started out where this guy falls into a pit of acid, then catches on fire and dies! Then when the people are burying him they accidentally bury like 15 cats with him and all the cats tear up him dead body but some how when the cats die their spirit is transferred into the dead guy who comes back to life! Then the guys wants to take revenge on all the cats in the world because it was cats who messed up his body! He goes around to a bunch of animal shelters with his flame thrower and... I think you can guess what he does next... He invites the over for a tea party and... gives them all a home at his house, but then... he throws a big... party and they all are happy. Then they guy realizes that all the cats think he's ugly because of his mutilated body so he make pies out of them...
Honestly I'll have to say that "Kitten Strangler 7: the Fleshy Mass of Guts" was better than "happy dogs make a happy band." Make sure to go see both though... Well bye homeys!
Monday, March 9, 2009
SICK
I'm sick... I have been all week. The doctor says that I will stop coughing things up soon. Just yesterday I coughed up a clown and the day before that I coughed up a group of senior citizens. They said they were just walking through the mall when I apparently ran up and started to eat them... I'M NOT WEIRD!
Now that I'm sick I can't do anything but play video games. I'm pretty good at Halo now that I know It's not a fashion show... At first I just walked around posing and getting blown to bits, and then I realized that I could be fashionable and blow other people to bits... JUST LIKE MARTHA STEWART! What that woman does for our Country... It's so incredible...
The only good thing about being sick is, you guessed it, NO SCHOOL. I'll tell you some of the dangerous ways to get sick quickly and not got to school here. Remember these are dangerous and could make you extremely sick.
1. Eat toothpaste (Lots)
2. Eat too much breakfast
3. Eat too many old people
4. Fake it
Remember not to kill yourself guys... Unless your annoying... or a politician! WOAH, sorry about that one. Sometimes I get a little out of control there...
Wow, this post is getting long... But I'm still sick so I'll make up a story. It's about Bob the ugly little kitten!
Once upon a time the was an unnaturally ugly kitten named Bob. One day Bob was playing video games when his mom came up to him and said, "Bob, all your brothers and sisters are dead!"
Bob said, "I'm playing video games and those are more important!"
Suddenly a lumberjack jumped through Bobs window and started tearing his house apart. Bob decided to go to bed.
THE END
Ooh that was good! Well bye people. I'll post again next week too! If you like me you should comment but you can also email me at billylukas@gmail.com
BYE
Now that I'm sick I can't do anything but play video games. I'm pretty good at Halo now that I know It's not a fashion show... At first I just walked around posing and getting blown to bits, and then I realized that I could be fashionable and blow other people to bits... JUST LIKE MARTHA STEWART! What that woman does for our Country... It's so incredible...
The only good thing about being sick is, you guessed it, NO SCHOOL. I'll tell you some of the dangerous ways to get sick quickly and not got to school here. Remember these are dangerous and could make you extremely sick.
1. Eat toothpaste (Lots)
2. Eat too much breakfast
3. Eat too many old people
4. Fake it
Remember not to kill yourself guys... Unless your annoying... or a politician! WOAH, sorry about that one. Sometimes I get a little out of control there...
Wow, this post is getting long... But I'm still sick so I'll make up a story. It's about Bob the ugly little kitten!
Once upon a time the was an unnaturally ugly kitten named Bob. One day Bob was playing video games when his mom came up to him and said, "Bob, all your brothers and sisters are dead!"
Bob said, "I'm playing video games and those are more important!"
Suddenly a lumberjack jumped through Bobs window and started tearing his house apart. Bob decided to go to bed.
THE END
Ooh that was good! Well bye people. I'll post again next week too! If you like me you should comment but you can also email me at billylukas@gmail.com
BYE
Monday, March 2, 2009
Snow and the Mall
Hi I'm Billy Lukas and here's my second post on my blog! Yesterday I was walking through the mall when I realized something. I wasn't wearing any pants..."crap"... I though as a senile old man shouted, "put some pants on young lady!" Things got even worse when I realized I was wearing my Hannah Montana underwear. "CURSE YOU HANNAH MONTANA!" I yelled as I dove into a Victoria's Secret, display. That was probably a bad move on my part since the same old man yelled, "KEEP IT PG YOUNG LADY!" I wish people would stop calling me young lady... it's degrading... Well that's the end of that story... or at least I wish it was.
But anyway, today it SNOWED! I went outside and built a small snow version of Elmo. I gazed into its eyes and heard grunting noises, so I ran and got my snow shovel and beat it to death. My neighbor, (A crazy old bird named Mrs. Shlatoskie) looked at me like I was weird. I chucked my shovel at her and then ran inside, flapping my arms like the ponypterodactyls on the special learning channel. I went inside, and put my clothes on, and then went back outside to make a snow angel. It looked like a beaver that hadn't fed in months. Speaking of feeding, I ran over to the preschool playground and picked up some yellow snow, which I proceeded to eat and then digest.
Well, I'm going back outside to play with the snow fairies! See ya!
But anyway, today it SNOWED! I went outside and built a small snow version of Elmo. I gazed into its eyes and heard grunting noises, so I ran and got my snow shovel and beat it to death. My neighbor, (A crazy old bird named Mrs. Shlatoskie) looked at me like I was weird. I chucked my shovel at her and then ran inside, flapping my arms like the ponypterodactyls on the special learning channel. I went inside, and put my clothes on, and then went back outside to make a snow angel. It looked like a beaver that hadn't fed in months. Speaking of feeding, I ran over to the preschool playground and picked up some yellow snow, which I proceeded to eat and then digest.
Well, I'm going back outside to play with the snow fairies! See ya!
Monday, February 23, 2009
The First Post
Hey, everyone! I'm Billy Lukas and you are reading my blog. This is my first post so I'll try to fit everything in here. First I'll tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Billy Lukas (as you probably have figured out by now) but my friends just call me Dorkface... well i guess my parents do to... and my teachers... ... ... Anyway, I'm 13 years old and that's about it.
Now I'll tell you about this blog. I'm going to post about once a weak and some other times too. You can email me at BillyLukas@gmail.com and tell me anything you want. Soon I'll may a link to my store so you can wear a shirt with me on it (that sounds like a dream come true!) Please email me about stuff like ideas, complaints or even if you want to be in my blog.
Okay so now on to my first post. Today I think I'll tell you about how my average day at school goes so you can get to know me better.
1. I arrive at school 20 minutes early.
2. Some kid call me "grandpa" and the teachers try to escort me to the old peoples home.
3. I go to the daily "hip grandmas" meeting.
4. I find out that I am not a hip grandma, (I always forget.)
5. I arrive at school just in time for... lunch.
6. People call me "lunch lady boy" while throwing small animals at me.
7. I pull squirrels out of various uncomfortable places... like... my nose...
8. I am rushed to the hospital where the doctor says,"congratulations young lady, your pregnant!"
9. Uh oh.
That's how my days usually go. If you want more posts sooner subscribe and comment because that always helps! Bye everyone!
Now I'll tell you about this blog. I'm going to post about once a weak and some other times too. You can email me at BillyLukas@gmail.com and tell me anything you want. Soon I'll may a link to my store so you can wear a shirt with me on it (that sounds like a dream come true!) Please email me about stuff like ideas, complaints or even if you want to be in my blog.
Okay so now on to my first post. Today I think I'll tell you about how my average day at school goes so you can get to know me better.
1. I arrive at school 20 minutes early.
2. Some kid call me "grandpa" and the teachers try to escort me to the old peoples home.
3. I go to the daily "hip grandmas" meeting.
4. I find out that I am not a hip grandma, (I always forget.)
5. I arrive at school just in time for... lunch.
6. People call me "lunch lady boy" while throwing small animals at me.
7. I pull squirrels out of various uncomfortable places... like... my nose...
8. I am rushed to the hospital where the doctor says,"congratulations young lady, your pregnant!"
9. Uh oh.
That's how my days usually go. If you want more posts sooner subscribe and comment because that always helps! Bye everyone!
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